I'll get through this, too.

I just had the wind knocked out of me.

Got onto facebook to find a changed relationship status for William to 'Engaged'.

I'm not sure why this has struck me so deeply, so thoroughly and so painfully.

Yes I am.

He has told me for the last 2 years "I'm never getting married again." He decided that marriage wasn't worth the hassle. "I'm not the marrying type." He didn't want the commitment. Over and over he told me part of why we got divorced, why he strayed was because he was just not meant to be married... And now he's engaged.

Two days ago, I asked him if he was going to marry this girl. He said no.

Why do I care so much?! This is ridiculous. We've been divorced for 2 years, our marriage was over for MOST of the marriage!

Why does he get to fall in love, be happy & have a happy ending when he stole so much from me, destroyed so much of me?! I tried to be a good wife, to keep him happy. I know I sucked, I know I failed ... But I tried. Instead of being honorable, faithful, ... he just decided to leave the marriage. To go bed down with another woman. I even got an std from him. Thankfully it was a curable one!!

Here I sit. Alone. Single. Sad. & three kids.

It isn't fair. None of this has been fair. HE should be the one sad. He should be the one alone. He should be the one who aches inside for all he lost. But he doesn't. He never has. He crushed me and never looked back. Now he's moving on with someone else.

I didn't know what to do. I broke down and sobbed. I called my friend Tyler & he came over & sat with me, put his arm around me & let me cry. He's so strong, still and quiet. He brought me twinkies and a pineapple, two of my comfort foods. He is so sweet.

I'll get through this. I got through, "I don't love you anymore & there is somebody else." I got through the many confessions of infidelity. I got through the coming home and then the "I want a divorce". I got through spending Christmas Eve's alone so he could be with his girlfriends. I got through divorcing and losing my best friend & my extended family. I can get through this.

I cannot believe he didn't give me, OR the kids a heads up... he told facebook before he even told his own kids.