Groundhogs Day

Seriously? I am STUCK in Groundhogs Day. It's a whole new January, a whole new year yet here I sit devestated by the same ole pain ... over and over and over this last 12 months I have gone on the never-ending hamster wheel of loving, hating, being with and being away from Will. Things are great, I think we're getting back together and working through our difficulty, then he finds someone new to tickle his pickle and I'm back to being devestated. If it wasn't so parylizingly painful, it really would be humorous!! I kept getting on here, meaning to blog, but my life was perfect, I had nothing to say ... I had my husband back, my family back, we got along SO well (with the occassional hiccup). He was being faithful, truthful, working hard and coming home to be a husband and dad at the end of the day ... He spent all but one or two nights a week here with me. I thought it was all going to be okay. And then Liz reared her ugly head again and I realized there was more than just the "friendly talks" I was being told were there ... I should have known, I should have ended it. That was his birthday ... again. Weird how things always happen around holiday's with us. I didn't, I looked past it again *Back on the hamster wheel* and the sure has hell, there's another one.

What exactly is it I'm suppose to learn from this nightmare ride I can't seem to get off of? I'm in a desperate state of dysfunction and can't seem to get a grip on the bad decisions. I'll figure it out, eventually. Until then ... I'll wake up tomorrow and hope that it's not another Groundhogs Day.