Letter

A letter to her...

"I am sorry that your husband was an asshole. I wish I could say the same about Will because it would make this all so much easier. I can tell you more than you'll probably ever know how truly, sincerely and perfectly amazing Will is as a man. He is the most loving and dedicated Dad although he is scary sometimes when they are in trouble. He's magic. I have loved him since before I ever even knew he was alive... I had to go all the way to Ohio to find him. When we sat in the temple together every part of my soul, my body down to the marrow of my bones and the cells in my blood filled with love for him. Every beat of my heart for 11 years has been whispering his name. Now every part of me cries, it bleeds and it aches. He is magic and he is amazing and he used to be mine. He's perfect in every rediculously imperfect way. I am so truly sorry, for me, that I still get butterflies when he walks into the room and that my heart leaps out of my chest when he speaks... Your husband was an ass, so the overcoming of those feelings for you was probably considerably easier for you, although painfully more difficult in ways I cannot even begin to understand. The overcoming of these feelings I have for Will has been life alteringly impossible because he ISN'T an ass (until he chooses to be, which isn't often, but is truly convincing when he does)... This last year we've been divorced he has been MY Will ... The man that I fell in love with... I mistook that man however to be the same man who loved me once upon a time, and he is not.

Good luck to you and you will have no further intrusion from me. I thank you for offering your ear, but the last time I tried to make friends with one of Will's mistresses, turned girlfriend upon our divorce, it turned to bite me in my ass... I allowed my desperation, my dysfunction and my broken heart to dictate my behavior this last week and I am ashamed of myself to the tenth degree. I have made some heart wrenchingly TERRIBLE decisions in regards to Will, and the only excuse I have is that I just simply wanted the man that I have been hopelessly, deeply and completely in love with for all these years to love me back. I apologize for my intrusion, my interference. I was not trying to create problems as much as I wanted you to be aware, to be wary and to be careful. No one deserves to be lied to, ever.

Again, from the depths of my despair, I am so embarassed, and so sorry for putting myself into a place where I not only did not belong, but was not welcome. I assure you, all that has happened will never happen again.
Kim "