Babies

I hit a milestone. I got to go over and hold my friend Coral's baby today. She was in need of some formula and I had randomly gotten a box of formula in the mail. When I held that sweet little muffin of hers with her cute little fingers and toes and her pretty eyes and the sweet baby sounds she made ... I had absolutely NO desire to have another child, ever. I always was afraid to hold babies because I was afraid it would awaken that "baby-hungry" monster that seems to live inside all women. Well, my monster must have died because I am not the least bit. It almost made me sad but mostly, I think I felt relief. My baby is almost 6, I just can't imagine adding an infant. It also made me sure that while I do not have any desire to give birth again and have an infant, I have absolutely no problems loving someone elses children. I worry about this, as a single mother now that wants to be remarried. It is likely, highly, that I will marry someone with kids. I have no problem with this, I don't mind the idea of it at all I just simply have no desire to have more children of my own. It was an interesting realization to me. My ex's girlfriend wants to have kids, she's in her early 30's and mentions it frequently. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but when I got to hold Haven today ... I just say "All the more power to ya!" This also opened my eyes a bit more to the dating pool I must choose from. Given that I am absolutely uninterested in having more children, I must select carefully from the men who already have children, wouldn't mind loving mine but don't want any more of their own. It's so strange to know this about myself ... I always look at the cute little pink baby clothes at the store and go "Awww!" but really, that's just because I'm a girl, not because I want to stuff a wriggly pink pile of fluff into it! Good for me, another milestone.