Men

I just got off the phone with a guy I met over the weekend. We spoke for nearly 3 hours. It was refreshing and honest. He shared things with me that made him uncomfortable in an effort to be real, honest and sincere. I appreciated his honesty very much. He told me about his marriage and it was so interesting to hear. His life ran parallel to mine only he was in the same shoes as WILL and not me. He was the one that had the world demanded of him by his ex-wife. What a difficult position to have been put it.

I've recently come to have a new empathy for men that I don't think I had before.

I really begun to realize how taken for granted men are just in general. I think that women have become empowered and "liberated" but at the same time have lost some of their sensitivity. At the same time that they are becoming "liberated" they have gained a new sense of entitlement. "I want my cake and to eat it too". It's an unfair stance for women to take. To a degree, through my illness, I took this stance within my marriage and even still sometimes do. Women want to be pampered, treated like queens and princesses, spoiled, doted on and taken care of. This is fair, but what is being given back? In a lot of circumstances, nothing. They want their men to work full-time, sometimes even two jobs to pay for them, their hobbies, their upkeep, their toys etc... expect them to help with housework, yard work, etc... (kids don't count cause they should help with the kids no matter what anyway) and the women aren't willing to dote, take care of or spoil their men. It's very one-sided. This new friend of mine's wife went to work every morning, which is more than I could say for me, but she expected her husband to get up after not getting home until 3am, to get the kids fed, ready for and taken to school, do the house work, work a full time job. When she would get home, she'd do nothing including denying any advances for affection that he made. Then SHE leaves him. Where is this fair? Is this the norm? In my marriage, I was the evil wife who demanded and gave nothing back with the exception that I DIDN'T have a job as an excuse. I stayed home all day long and just simply demanded.

This new perspective that has come to me through the clearing of my fog and the somewhat calming of my brain has really made me appreciate men, what they do, what they're willing to do for their wives, their families. I have always appreciated Will and all he's done, but even to talk to this new friend has made me appreciate Will all the more. Will works SOOO hard every single day, and he still does, to afford ME the opportunity to stay at home and the raise the kids. He works like a dog, including 24 hour shifts sometimes at the cabinet shop, just so that we can have whatever WE want. I don't envy men, I don't envy the great sense of responsibility they feel about the care and upkeep of their family. I never knew until Will and I separated how devastated he was, and how he felt like a failure when we sold our house. I felt complete relief to be rid of it, but he felt like he'd let us down and carried the guilt of that for years. He never ever let us down and I feel bad that he ever felt that way.
,I'll never understand men. But I do appreciate them. I appreciate their strength their fortitude, their willingness to work so hard. I vow, as a woman, to be sure that all of the men in my life know that I DO appreciate them and that whenever there is an opportunity to serve THEM and to take care of THEM, I will take it, revel in it and enjoy every moment of it.

Thank you for all you do Guys ... All of you.