A YEAR!!

Last night while I was *suppose* to be sleeping, my mind was on fire with goals, plans to accomplish those goals and some rusty cogs FINALLY fell into place.

Here's some of my brainwork.

At 35 years old I weight 237 (13lbs shy of my heaviest weight ever). At 237 I am on the borderline of being "morbidly obese". I already know I fall into the obese catagory, but tacking on that "morbidly" bit at the beginning really gives me a sense of dread. I am at risk of diabetes and heart disease, two things that run in my family, as well as cancer. I am already suffering from severe back pain due to a car accident 10 years ago and I have bad knees from the same accident. Add the extra weight on top of those already painful bones/joints and I'm breaking down pretty quickly. I have a large network of friends who play soccer/flag football every Saturday morning (even in the winter those die hards!) and I'd love to go play but I tire out too quickly. In a nutshell, I'm in pretty bad shape!!

Check this out. I just did a google search on "What should my weight be" I found a link: http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/ideal-body-weight-3146-143.html after entering my information, which I question it's accuracy because it asked if my fingers can fit around my wrist and that's not a good judge because I have short little fat fingers. Here's what it told me:
Ideal weight range is 152 - 167.2 lbs. (69.1 - 76 kg.).
You are overweight by 69.8 lbs. (32 kg.).
You may wish to consult with your physician for medical help

Here's what I think is happening with me: My problem is not overeating. I do not live to eat, I eat to live. I can go 2-3 meals without realizing I haven't eaten until I start getting shakey and sick (it really does take a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!!). What my problem is is WHAT I eat, not how much of it I eat. My biggest struggle with "dieting" or lifestyle changes is actually adding meals to places I'm currently not accustomed to. My calories come primarily from Dr. Pepper. Because I do not eat regularly, my poor body hangs onto whatever junk I put into my mouth because there's no telling when I'll eat again. I've never gotten over 250lbs and I think(imho) that is attributed ONLY to the fact that my poor body is using it's fat stores to keep me alive. If I ate regularly, 3 meals a day, I'd weigh considerably more.

Here's how I figure it: Between now and Christmas is 5 months/20 weeks/150 days. I want to be to 199, BELOW 200, by Christmas. According to my shoddy math skills, that means in the next 20 weeks I must lose approx. 40lbs. Which means 2lbs a week. According to my research a weight loss of 2lbs a wk is a healthy weight loss and is a very attainable goal.

Here's how I plan on doing it: When I give up the Dr. Pepper (which I will absolutely HAVE to do cold turkey and suffer the headaches because I've come to accept the fact that I am an addict and have absolutely no self control with it) and start drinking water, I'll drop a lot of weight very fast. In theory this is wonderful for me because it just gets me where I want to be quicker, but alas, it will taper off. I am not overly interested in losing it all super quick, if I wanted a super quick weight loss, I'd just get pregnant because that's the only time I lose significant amounts of weight quickly (I really am a backwards person, I know) and since that is a "HELL NO" option ... gotta do it the good ole fashioned way :)

Step One: Give up the Dr.P. I already know it's bad for me in my head, and I know it's bad for me physically because it makes me sick everytime I drink it. Think I'd give it up, huh? Duh me. Switch to drinking water only which will be a sacrifice because I'd almost rather lick dirt off the floor.

Step Two: Water Aerobics. Walking. Riding my bike with the kids. In other personal changes I am making in regards to my relationship with my ex, which I am not going to get into here, I need to spend a lot less time in the same places he is. I have decided that to accomplish this formerly difficult task I am going to go walking or ride my bike while he is here with the kids. He walks in, I walk out. I also have two grocery stores within a mile of my house. Reams is within walking distance, Macey's is within biking distance. If I have to go to the grocery store for something, I'm going to start walking or riding my bike. I'm also looking into belly-dancing and Tae Kwon Do with my midgies! I am also going to run a 5k in April!!!

Step Three: Obviously, my diet. I'm going to have to literally force myself to eat 3 meals a day and some healthy snacks. This is going to require a lot of adjustment to my currently high laziness and lack of ability/desire to cook whatsoever. I am starting weight watchers next week with my sister so that will give me some idea's on meal planning and what to eat.

Step Four: I'll only weigh once a week at the WW meetings.

I have been divorced now for 4 days shy of 18 months (but who's counting, right?). It's been a very long, very painful, very miserable 18 months indeed. When I cry to my friends about when the pain will stop they always tell me "Give it a year". A YEAR?! Are you effing kidding me? That's 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 MONTHS!! I can't do a year, I need it fixed NOW. Last night while my mind was open, listening, racing I started to do the math. If I can consistently lose 2lbs a week(that's 2lbs in ONLY 7 days!!) with diet and exercise, and keep that up beyond my 40lb-by-Christmas goal, by May of next year (my 36th b-day) I'll have lost 80lbs. By this time next year, at 2lbs a week, I'll have lost almost 100lbs and almost be to my goal weight (140). When I realized that my mind was on FIRE! Literally, I was so excited by the idea of "GIVE ME A YEAR!" I could hardly sleep!! Just give me ONE YEAR! Something that previously seemed so out of sight, so unattainable, now seems like such a short span of time! This short little year is going to give me an entirely new life in so many ways!! All I have to do is 3 meals a day! That is so calcuable! I don't have to worry about next week until next week, I just have to make it from breakfast to dinner. One simple day at a time. I joke that when I got divorced I lost 195lbs. Well, now all I have left is 100lbs of baggage and I am good to go!!

I really hope that if anyone takes the time to read this that they get motivated by it, that they'll want to make changes as well, and most of all, that they'll go on this journey with me. JUST GIVE US A YEAR!!

Also, just a side note: I realize that 140lbs is slightly unrealistic. My dream of looking like Jennifer Aniston is also a bit unrealistic as well. However, I'd be happy with 160. My goal isn't as much the # on the scale as it is the muscle tone and the dress size. I want to be in an 8/10. Danger with this is that I've always said that the Lord made me fat because I'd be immodest otherwise ... guess here's my chance to prove myself wrong :)