Food Log

1/9/2013   So, I went to a nutrition specialist today to see if I could get help w/ my eating disorder (which, for those of you who don't know, is starvation. Not anorexia, but I do not possess the hormone that tells my body I'm hungry so I will go for multiple meals without eating because I am just simply not hungry enough to eat). So my first step is protein, lots of protein, lots of water (oh joy), more sleep (hallelujah!) & starting w/ light exercise outside of my typical lifestyle stuff like laundry/cleaning. Oh, and btw, I got weighed today ... I told the woman she ruined my day. I clocked in at my highest weight ever (moo) 262.4

 In my search for "protein", which I automatically picture in my head as a cow ... just a cow, I found these. I don't know if this is what is meant by "protein", but I got them because it's made out of ... you guessed it ... cow.





 Found some chicken ones too that I got because everyone on a diet talks about eating a lot of chicken and fish.











Here's the nutritional information for the chicken (on the right) and the beef (on the left).

 

 LUNCH TIME! Today's forced lunch. About 1/3 of the chicken in the package, it said it held two servings but the servings seemed pretty large to me. Half a grapefruit, which is a stretch for me since I hate grapefruit and a GINORMOUS bottle of water (oh joy). Had to force it in since I wasn't hungry and there was a wee bit of gagging at first but I conquered and at it all, even the grapefruit (which is an ART, btw).

Turns out it's not half bad, especially with salt.  The chicken was a little weird tasting, but I am sure it's because I wasn't sure what I was expecting.

The water is another thing that's been a difficult adjustment.  "Lots of water" ... Lots of water in my previous life meant I drank a mouthful when I took my medication everyday.  Otherwise, if I was thirsty I drank Dr. Pepper... upwards of 32-44oz!! Sometimes I'd even drink it everyday.  It's a pathetic addiction that I blame on my children.  I always think of Dr. Pepper as a cigarette or a glass of alcohol.  When I'm stressed & the kids are bugging me, I just "NEED" a Dr. Pepper to calm me down!  But back to the water... drinking water means lots (and lots and lots) of trips to the bathroom.  I don't think I "feel" any better drinking this much water, but I'm only a bottles in, it'll take time I'm sure.
 
Dinner on my first diet day left a bit to be desired. I just had about a cup of frozen lasagna.

Here's how my day looked on myfitnesspal
922 Calories
162 Carbs
15 Fat
42 Protein

Here is what MyFitnessPal says my daily goals are in regards to the calories, carbs, fat & protein in relation to my lifestyle, weight etc...

1,850 Calories
254 Carbs
62 Fat
69 Protein 

So of course, under on the calories nearly by half ... still starving myself fat.

1/10/2013  BREAKFAST! My Achilles Heel.  Because 7am is an ungodly time of day (refer to one of my other posts) I don't normally eat breakfast because I am rarely awake to and in the mornings I'm just not hungry enough to eat.  HOWEVER, because the nutritionist told me I have to eat AT LEAST 3 meals a day, I got up and made myself breakfast. 

 4 egg whites & a ham steak.

 For lunch I attempted to have the same that I had eaten the day before, the chicken and the grapefruit, but I just never got around to eating the grapefruit & just ate the chicken.

This is a 7" salad plate, in case you wondered.



 Dinner on day two was considerably better. The picture is slightly deceiving though. I didn't eat the cucumber.  It had gotten frozen and then thawed and was just gross.  I did eat the beef & that super cute watermelon though, and both were pretty good.

After dinner I started having a really strong, almost overwhelming craving for Dr. Pepper, or sugarsugarsugarsugar. I spotted a big, solid chocolate Santa sucker one of the kids had gotten for Christmas on the shelf & zeroed in on it.  My loving, wonderful Sweetheart however is being super supportive & went in search of a better alternative to my mad craving.  He came back w/ a protein bar & a can of peaches.  That worked pretty well, for a minute.  By the end of the night I ended up having an orange danish from Maverick & a small hot chocolate (they were delish & lots and lots of sugar!)

Here's how my day looked on fitnesspal
1,639 Calories
243 Carbs
41 Fat
91 Protein

Under on Calories, but only slightly ... much better food day!

1/11/2013  Day Three I actually logged on my other post "Dieting Sucks", I ate a McDonalds bacon, egg & cheese bagel and a large orange juice. Skipped lunch & ate pizza toppings & the other half of my cutie watermelon.

Here's how it all ended up on fitnesspal:
1,625 Calories
196 Carbs
69 Fat (no surprise I was over there)
57 Protein

Another good calorie day.  I need to focus on eating GOOD calories, keeping my carbs low or at least healthy & high in Protein.  So far the protein part is not hard at all, but getting enough Calories correctly is proving to take some work. 

1/12/2013  Day Four, first weekend.  Ate breakfast, and it was pretty good.  I had 5 egg whites mixed w/ 4 slices of Land o'Lakes Bistro Favorites Honey Glazed Ham & a small bit of cheese melted on top.  I forgot to take a picture before I ate it.  Oops.

 For lunch/snack I had one of these slim rite drinks.  It tasted pretty alright.  I actually forgot to eat lunch and then realized I had to at least eat something, so I had this. 


Dinner was late tonight.  I was being ridiculously lazy today and when we finally did get up to go do something it was like 4pm and we ended up having to go to 5 different stores to find what we were looking for. 

Dinner for the family was Spaghetti w/ canned fruit.  Dinner for mom was some of that John Soules fajita beef w/ a 1/4c marinara sauce on the top and a cup of the canned fruit.  I haven't done very good w/ the water today.  I've only had about 5 glasses, I'll try to squeeze in the rest before bed... that'll make a fun night.






Here's how my day looked on myfitnesspal:
1,064 Calories
144 Carbs
25 Fat
76 Protein

Another fairly good calorie day, only 800 something shy. 

1/13/2013  Day Five, nearly a week.  I had a slow day, it's Sunday.  Had a nice reasonable breakfast of cardboard w/ banana and water:

 Whoever said Kashi Go Lean was good ... LIED.  Absolutely tasteless.  I'm sure as I work on running the sugar out of my system I'll adjust to the "natural" taste of food.  But for now, just this side of cardboard.  The banana was yummy though.  I've really been enjoying the influx of fruit and veggies in my diet.


I skipped lunch because of church, our church meets from 1-4 which is a terrible time but we all must make sacrifices I suppose.  I just drank one of those Slim Rites on my way out the door so I didn't get overly shaky or distracted during my meetings.

For dinner we had slow cooker pork steaks that were cooked in cream of chicken soup w/ ranch dressing powder.  They were okay, I'm not a real fan of pork, but I needed to shake up the beef/chicken trend some.  As a side the kids were given mashed taters and green beans.  I skipped on the taters.  The plate is not pretty by any stretch, but food is food & I am not complaining.  This is a 7" salad plate, it's the only plate I ever use.

After my snakies, which I blogged about in the post "My Brand of Heroin" here's how my day looked on myfitnesspal:

1,648 Calories
229 Carbs
53 Fat
71 Protein

STILL under on calories!! HUGE carbs though, shame on me. The goal is 254, I was nearly at that and it was all because of the CRAP I shoved in my face.

1/14/2013  Day Six!  Fiber One Honey Squares MUCH tastier! The bit of honey on them satisfied my itchy sweet tooth & the banana made it a much more filling meal.




For lunch, I decided to cheat.  I was out running errands for a bit and *really*really*really* wanted Wendy's.  I love their Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers & could eat them at just about every meal.  I didn't get a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger.  I got an Asiago Chicken Club.  I did not get it in the meal, only got the sandwhich. I waited to eat until I got home.  I had a friend one time tell me when we went out for lunch during work "Let's eat! Fat girls don't wait!"  She was a darling girl, absolutely beautiful & as wide as she was tall.  So we ate in the car because fat girls don't wait.  So, when I can, I wait.  Today, I waited, came home put it on a plate and threw the buns in the garbage.  I've been pretty surprised at how easily I've turned away from the starches given the fact that they turn to sugar in my system.  However that could explain why I am withdrawing so badly, I haven't just given up the sugary DP & the snacks, I've also given up the bread, pasta's and other starches.  I'm starving the sugar bug out!!

I gave in today & drank the DP that was in the fridge.  I'm not really sure why I did ... I wasn't actually craving it or wanting it.  I actually only ended up drinking half of it & dumping the other half out.


Was feeling cranky & ornery (and pms-y) and very un-hungry for dinner. I finished off the last half of the fruit/protein shake I made last night and called it good.  I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Here's my day looked on myfitnesspal:
1,029 Calories
147 Carbs
24 Fat
66 Protein

At the bottom of the counter on myfitnesspal it always says:
*Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are eating too few calories. Not only is it difficult to receive adequate nutrition at these calorie levels, but you could also be putting your body into starvation mode. Starvation mode lowers your metabolism and makes weight loss more difficult. We suggest increasing your calorie consumption to 1,200 calories per day minimum.

It's really frustrating, especially since I am actually *trying*.